“Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.”

One of my older edits, back from 2014. When I was young and unafraid; skipping about the tall switchgrass fields at Tempelhof.

I still remember how the breeze felt against my skin, and how the bright, blue sky stretched endlessly, ceaselessly, into the horizon.

And I – running through the fields with my friends in tow, breath and laughter combining together as puffs and heaves – felt invincible.

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Catch 22

There has been a feeling of pensiveness looming about me of late. Yet no matter how many times I try to coax myself to begin, no words seem to come out coherently when I put pen to paper.

I think perhaps it is this overwhelming pressure I feel to ensure that the words that do come out are perfect: perfectly describing all the thoughts jumbled up inside my head, perfectly encapsulating everything I want to say and everything I want to feel.

Maybe it would be more accurate to say: no words seem to come out coherently enough.

And so while I am teetering on the brink of desperately needing to write something – feel something it’s scary to recognize that it might eventually not be enough.

So I hesitate. I stop. And I don’t start.

But I am tired of chasing perfection.

So what if my words are not enough to capture everything I wish to say? To be able to express just a tiny fraction of the inner workings of my mind – I cannot possibly be worse for it.

I want to chase the sunrise instead.

I want to feel the fingers of the wind in my hair, and condense every colour of the sunset into the palette of my life.

I want to follow the sun.

Of course, I am always more reckless when I am tired. I make the craziest of decisions when really, I should be in bed.

But on writing – and on feeling – I hope I remember how cathartic it can be to just go, and to just live.

Is there a conclusion to this even?

I don’t know.

I think maybe, for once, I just want to write. With no real structure and with little regard for the conclusions. I just want to write.

And see where it takes me next.

Duality

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” – Anthon St. Maarten

It took me a long time to understand this, but I think I finally do.

And it is incredibly liberating.

Happy 25th to myself; I’m grateful for all the small things, the big things, and everything in between.

This is a beautiful life. ❤